The Beard it Speaks

New Years Resolutions. That time of year, the beginning of the new year, where people want to change their lifestyle to better improve their life, by comparing them self to someone else and their lifestyle, by which they implore their lifestyle to be changed in an attempt to better themselves in regards to how others think that they are better than them. Ya’ll understand what I am saying? New Year Resolutions are such an integral part of the new year, that we all subconsciously create resolutions. That does not mean we acknowledge these resolutions or follow through on them. I am going to attempt to show you how to make your New Year Resolutions attainable and sensible. As ya’ll may know, and if you don’t you will at the end of this, bearders tend to attempt to make impossibly difficult things way more simple.

First, you must list your resolutions. If you do not write it down, you are not serious about it. Upon completion of making your list, you must now prioritize this list. When you prioritize, do this in a manner that lists what you think might be your easiest attainable resolution first, to the hardest being last. Example: grow my beard longer, eat less, lose more weight, drink more homemade wine, grow a bigger garden, learn to win the lottery. Prioritize: 1 grow my beard longer, 2 learn to win the lottery, 3 drink more homemade wine, 4 grow a bigger garden, 5 lose more weight, 6 eat less. If you do not write down and prioritize, you fail at life.

Second, you must tell everyone of your friends and family and co-workers your resolutions. Without the push and ridicule from these people, you will fail. At first they will be supportive and helpful. As you progress at not progressing, yet you still lament on the resolutions, they will turn from helpful and supportive, to angry and hurtful. If you are failing at your resolutions, you need this change, take it and don’t cry about it, you asked for this when you made these resolutions. They are just trying to help. Suck it up, don’t be a cry baby, and get the shit done!

Third and last, this is the most important step in attaining your resolutions. Now, this third step might not be needed by all resolutioners. But I would take a gander and bet that most will need this third step. Now, this third step will be the most difficult, yet the simplest step of them all. Step 3, once you have failed at the previous listed resolutions, and the supportive, hurtful friends, family and co-workers have begun ignoring you completely; you MUST and WILL, forget about your resolutions until the beginning of next year. If you don’t, your resolutions for next year will be pointless, because you will only remember how you failed the previous year.

Now I know this sounds like no one ever attains the goals they set aside as resolutions. That is false. The secret to succeeding is forgetting about the failures of previous attempts.

Success is successful when succeeding is done in a more successful way than successfully succeeding at failing.

Ya’ll have a happy New Year. I will be back with some more self-help motivational motivations from the mind of a bearder. I told ya’ll earlier that we tend to make impossible possibilities more possible with simpler possibilities.

Motivation ya’ll. its what we all need to succeed.

No Shave Never

Paul