Beards and Doughnuts

Posted: December 2, 2012 in Family, Humor
Tags: , , , , ,

My family, my beard and a big doughnut. The doughnut has a hole in it, y’all know that. Inside that hole is nothing, hence it being called a “hole”. Now, in case y’all don’t know, the part of the doughnut that fills that hole is called a “doughnut hole”. Why it’s called a hole when there’s actually no hole at all is quite dumbfounding. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go to a doughnut shop and ask for doughnut holes and a doughnut. You can figure it out from there.

My loving wife, Sara, is my doughnut hole. I’m the doughnut. Hold that doughnut parallel to the ground and drop anything through that hole. It will fall straight thru, to the ground. Unless the object is bigger than the hole. If you do that, this experiment doesn’t count, you lose! That’s my brain, forgetting. Sara is the doughnut hole, reminding me, not to forget.

I have been wanting to do a yearly recap of our household for a couple years now. For numerous reasons I have not done that. The main reason being my skill of forgetfulness. I’m one of those people who knows I will forget information. I have tried to negate this by acquiring and implementing anti-forgetfulness skills. What I have learned, is that when you forget shit, doing more things to help you remember, creates a plethora of more shit to forget.
Example: Writing items down on a piece of paper, to remind you to do those items in the near future. Yeah, that doesn’t work when you forgot you wrote them down and now you can’t find that piece of paper. Ironically you find it a day later while cleaning your pockets out before doing laundry. Y’all know that saying, “a day late…”.

Now, I just rely on my wife and her keen instinct of knowing I’m forgetful, she keeps me straight. When we travel, after every stop we get ready to leave she asks me, “got your wallet, phone?”. I think it’s just one of those motherly instincts she has programmed herself to do with her husband. I am willing to bet many of you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Sometimes my wife has two youngins to remind. Our two year old and me. She does not remind me often, but she does remind me regularly, that I’m a big kid. Instinctively she knows exactly what I’m going to forget during certain activities. It is quite amazing. The funny part is, I will forget simple things. Sunglasses, wallet, phone, but never forget my thermos or coosie. I call this here disorder, Adult Male Selective Prioritization Inefficiency.

I am very thankful for Sara and her ability to know me, better than I know myself. She does remind me of that fact regularly, deservedly so. Someone needs to create a reminder app, that can be tailored to remind me of stuff in the manner my wife does. Then I wouldn’t forget to turn the alerts on, volume up, and have more than one notification.

I’m sure many of you will understand this dynamic. Husbands, remind yourselves to tell your wives “thank you” regularly. Add that to the list of “wife things” you should never forget, birthday, anniversary, first date, favorite ice cream, favorite drink, favorite candy and favorite restaurant.

Remembering these things will make your beard growing experience much easier. Most importantly it will keep your wife happy, and you won’t have to worry about her not reminding you to breathe. Because men, they sometimes will forget that shit too.

A good photo for reminding us not to forget our sanity.


No Shave Never.

  1. paulheels says:

    Yes. Yes I am !


  2. that’s sweet. awwwww….. You’re one lucky bearded doughnut.


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