The Story of the Christmas Beard

Posted: December 24, 2012 in Family, Humor
Tags: , , , , , ,

The story of the Christmas Beard is a story most of you have never heard before. It’s a story that has been around for thousands of years. Passed down from generation to generation by word of mouth. Fewer people are told this story each year, because fewer people are allowing the beard life. There is no secret society that saves the world from dangers. Us bearded folk are everyday people with extraordinary self will and awesome hair. Once you look past the hairy, or rough and hairy exterior, you have a person’s personality.

Some of you might have been told the Christmas beard story before, but you don’t even know it. Some of you might have heard the Christmas beard story and it not even be Christmas. The Christmas beard story happens everyday. But those that actually understand what is being told to us, truly understand and comprehend the full meaning and comprehension of the Christmas beard story. Not everyone can appreciate the story of the Christmas beard. It’s somewhat like the first time you watch Super Troopers, you don’t get it. But the next 250 times and after you memorized it, your appreciation and loyalty to the comic value make it one of the best comedies ever. You must allow yourself to be allowed to allow the story of the Christmas beard to be told.

You see, Christmas is a time and holiday for forgiving, receiving, giving, acceptance and personal warmth in most places. Beards keep us warm. If you don’t know. Just take it as fact from someone with a beard. I know it seems a little weird and unconventional that personal warmth is in there. That’s the point of the story of the Christmas beard. Unconventionality, is the convention of not being conventional in an unconventional way. (My definition, not Webster’s, and it works, do the math you wizards). Tacky Christmas sweater parties, Mule Ties, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, chimneys, hot totties, coffee, toboggans (the ones you wear on your head, not the sleds, for you northern folks), carhartt clothes, fires, and Christmas flannel pajammies; all staples of Christmas and all things that have something to do with keeping a person warm.

If you begin to think about this a little more, you will see, personal warmth is more of a Christmas “theme” than receiving, forgiving, giving, and acceptance. Matter of fact, not opinion, so much personal warmth is given for Christmas.

The story of the Christmas beard is not something I just made up, for you heathens who might think that. It’s obvious I do not have that kind of imaginative imagination.

The story of the Christmas beard I will tell you, but you must be willing to be told without the unwillingness to not be willing. It’s a story that all will hear but many will not know. It’s not a riddle or rhyme, but haiku in nature.

Wintry tis the beard
Mirrored upon the person
A beard reflection

Merry Christmas bearded and non-bearded ones. Hug a beard this Xmas, smile bigger.

Warmth and camo, can’t not hardly see me I bet.


No Shave Never!


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