Archive for January, 2013

I decided to do some googling this morning. I made up the first oxymoron that came to mind. Fearless Mouse.
Apparently this is a real thing, that has had science scientifically experiment. Yep. A fearless mouse. Not scared of anything and cuddles with cats. If you would like to know more about this, here are some links.
Fearless Mouse

Fearless Mouse No 2

This might be cool, it might not.

Google is such an awesome tool. If really has the answer to everything. And if it does not know then answer, it will link you to Wikipedia. We all know Wikipedia has the answer to everything.

No Shave Never

Paul

It is no surprise or coincidence that beards typically have large body sizes. The majority of beards could probably stand to lose a pound or two. Those bearders who are of the persuasion of being of the chunky persuasion do not envy those who might be a bit more fit.

As I run across diets that tickle my fancy, I wanted to pass along the information. I, me, myself, Paul, in no way am I suggesting the use or implementation of any diet. This is just informing those willing to accept information. I for one, do not believe in “diets”.

I have never done this diet, but it does not look that awesome. The Grapefruit Diet. If you are an active person, DO NOT DO THIS DIET! Caloric intake is 800-1000 calories a day. That’s some bullshit right there. If the most exercise you get in a day is waking up and walking to the potty, then you can probably live through this diet. Uber active folk, y’all gonna perish.

Just to be clear. I damn love Grapefruit!

I do not know why I am talking about this right now, it is kind of weird. But I’m just gonna go with it. So ya’ll read along and just go with it too. I promise you will not know anything more than before you started reading. But I always say all the time that, “you can’t waste anything that you can’t wipe up with a wash rag.” In other words, no matter how uninformative this information based conversation is, you won’t waste any time or anything reading it. In other words, to the last other words, it is worth your time to give up some time to gain the knowledge that you want to gain. Ok.

If you exercise, hopefully you know about caloric replacement with healthy calories.

The information I gathered about the Grapefruit Diet is from Web MD. Which is on the internet, so there is no way in hell it’s wrong, because not only is it on the internet, I Googled it and Google is never wrong.

Here is the Web MD link for the Grapefruit Diet

Down near the bottom of the article is another article about Birth Control Options for Busy Moms. I’m not too caught up on my birth control knowledge right now. They make BC specifically for ‘busy” moms? And by “busy” do they mean “forgetful”? That’s what I think they mean. Ya’ll should call and demand an explanation.

On another note, dealing with the same note of dieting. Ya’ll make a conscientious educated decision and do what ever the hell ya’ll want.

Lemme go see if I can find a picture that I can some way tie into this conversation and it be irrelevant.

Here it is. This will work. Heyyyooo. Some will. Some won’t.

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Egg and berries.

YOLO is only applicable if you don’t die.

No Shave Never

Paul

It is Friday, almost 2 O’clock. So far today has been productive and interesting. I cooked french toast from homemade sourdough. We went to Bed Bath and Beyond and got some cool shit, bed sheets included. Lowes Home Improvement, some more cool shit and a magnetic pouch for holding nuts, bolts, screws, and the like.

First thing this morning, I get up, at 6 AM because thats what I do, I’m country. Feed the dog, cats and make my coffee. Five minutes into checking my email on the iPad and drinking my piping hot delicious coffee, I hear a weird but familiar sound. This sound strikes me in a way that makes me feel like something is about to happen and not in a good way. I know this sound, and I know its not something good. After approximately one minute, I figure out what this sounds is. The damn count is about to throw up all it’s breakfast somewhere in my vicinity. It’s dark and the light switch is on the other side of the up chuck zone. Asshole, was on the tile but threw up on the carpet.

This leads me to the next story, a few hours later in the day. I go outside to get some firewood. Come back in, make my fire and think, “hey Stoney is outside. Let me go let that birthday boy in.” So I let Ole Stoney Dean in, pet him on the head, grab up the iPad, sit down, take a sip of beer and hear it. It sounds like a toilet that is stopped up, being unstopped up, when that burst of air is allowed in the pipe when that clog is released and the poo begins to flow. Ya’ll know what I’m talking about. Cause we all done clogged and plunged a poop shack. So, this sound resonates through my ears and before I can safely move the iPad out of the beer spill zone, the clog unclogs, in my dogs stomach. Yep, cot damn dog done ate round bale worth of grass. You guessed it too, threw up two inches from the tile, onto the carpet.

Irregardless (some of y’all might catch it) of how terrible this day sounds like it has been for me, I have been quite satisfied with it. I got a two plus pound can of mixed nuts for 9.99. Thats a awesome deal. Got me a new pilla. Sitting beside a fire. Ate sausage this morning. Got me a new chemical sprayer. And drinking beerses.

So this afternoon I am racking some wine and drinking more beers. Baby Gurr is gonna be up in about an hour, and we gonna watch some Spongebob until momma gets home. Cause she does not like Spongebob.

Ya’ll stay tuned. More is probably to come later. Thinking about making some coosies, No Shave Never coosies. What say yins? I love coosies, that’s a different story I will share later.

Anyone know what this is?

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No Shave Never

Paul Heyooo