I just received a horrorscope from the stars. I’m not sure which star it was, but I know it was a star because it sparkled and had a lot of money. I hope this is not a reoccurring thing, but if it is, I feel it is my duty to share the future of the unsuspecting.
Any born between the months of Dec to Nov you will see a light in the AM. Your attitude is not driven by your altitude, but by the first person you encounter in a car, driving in the opposite direction. Contrary to popular belief, you will not be able to dictate your own attitude for the day, unless you know said person driving in the opposite direction and can dictate their attitude for the day.
The only sure way your attitude is determined by you, is by growing or already having grown a beard.
This concludes the horrorscope I was presented with, to present to the people.
No Shave Never