Beard and Baby Gurr’s Most Awesome Friday Adventure

Posted: February 15, 2013 in Family, Humor, Life
Tags: , , , , ,

Friday was the first day of baby Gurr and me being home without the Beardess for the whole weekend.

I let baby Gurr sleep in for an extra 30 minutes. She was thankful. Then for breakfast, we ate in front of the TV. We watched one episode of Spongebob and two episodes of King of the Hill. It was great. She spent most of the morning arranging and stocking her fort. The morning poop fairy made an appearance and we had to do a little poop abatement.


Before heading out, I thought it a grand idea to put pigtails in Baby Gurr’s hair. 30 minutes later this is what I accomplished.


Next on the list of things to do, was the Beard’s errands. I had a couple small things I needed to get done, and baby Gurr could help. We made the magical trek from home to Carolina Fresh Farms, there, was our tomato garden soil purchase.

Next we meandered through the horrendous South Aiken traffic to brave the isles of Lowes Home Improvement, which this time of day would surely be filled with the people of accumulated years of age. These people would surely operate in a very slow, methodical manner only suitable to their schedule which incorporates complete oblivion to the surrounding patrons, who are not operating in a slow methodical manner and not incorporating oblivion.

As is common during this time at Lowes, the parking lot was filled with front row parkers. Whom made six point turns backing out of a parking space, before moseying towards the intersection of death. Luckily I was able to use tactical evasive maneuverings to tactfully evade these poor drivers, and get baby Gurr and myself inside safe.

After we fought our way, to the death mind you, out of Lowes and back onto the streets, we decided to take the pit stop for more baby fuel. Chik Fil A. Our friend Mike met us and we had a delicious meal of fried chicken sandwiches perfectly cooked to perfection in peanut oil. And some waffle fries.

Once home, baby Gurr alerted me to the idea that she was quite tired and irritated by screaming and crying and throwing her hair bows, I put her in the crib promptly, she fell asleep more promptly.

I got the tomato garden filled with soil, and a piece of the yard leveled for an impending sod delivery. The best thing I got done during this nap, was my rain barrel for the drip system for the tomatoes. Free WATER!


After nap time, the day was so nice that we sat outside and let the wind flow to and fro on our beards. Not sure if that is the correct connotation for the “to and fro”, but I doesn’t too much a’fear it. CHEESE!


We called up a couple friends to go grab a bite at the local watering whole, O’Charley’s. Why so many damn apostrophes? The food was decent. Audrey ate tortilla chips, fries, some bread and about all the delicious outer fried deliciousness off my chicken tenders. I knew it was time to go when she threw her papi across O’Charley’s, then pulled her britches down while standing on the booth. Great times!


We made it home and baby Gurr was pooped. She works hard at keeping up with daddy and does a damn fine job doing it, because she wore my ass out too.

Got another grand day planned tomorrow. Gonna hopefully pick up some more barrels to enlarge my rain barrel system off the shed, to water the garden.

Come back tomorrow, I will have more.

No Shave Never


  1. […] Beard and Baby Gurr’s Most Awesome Friday Adventure […]


  2. paulheels says:

    Those old people know what they are doing, on purpose.


  3. “incorporating oblivion” Wonderful.


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