Happy Mother’s Day to Beard Mommas

Posted: May 12, 2013 in Family, Humor
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Today is Mother’s Day. What a grand day today is. The day churrins get to celebrate their mothers. The day husbands get to help their, under the age of 15, churrins celebrate their mothers.

I would like to wish my momma a Happy Mother’s Day.

I want to wish my wife, the Beardess, a Happy Mother’s Day, from Adurey, the Baby Gurr.

Mother’s Day is a day where mommas can sit back and relax. No worries about Sunday lunches, no cleaning clothes, no running to the grocery store, it is all a day of peace and relaxation. Daddies take care of the children for the day.

This day of relaxation is a small reminder to mothers that there still is a place called sanity, and she is welcome for a tease once a year.

There have been times where I have thought that we should change Mother’s Day for our momma. Instead of Happy Mother’s Day, it will be Happy Mother’s Rehabilitation and Physical Therapy Day.

Today, on this Mother’s Day, my momma sits at home with a broken Tibia, or Fibula, I can not remember which one. No big deal ya’ll, do not worry. She is fine. It was a minor spiral break around the ankle area on her non-kicking leg. Recovery should be about 6 weeks. She was ordered to wear a walking boot for those six weeks, instead of a cast.

It is obvious the doctor did not know who he was talking to. That cast would have been permanent, I want to see how long that boot stays on.

This broken bone thing is not a new thing for momma. Neither is hospital visits.

I am going to try to highlight some of the events momma has accumulated. I will also incorporate my sister Emily’s “Amazing Escapades of Daring Hospital Visits”, because her and my momma are pretty much in a battle for emergency room infamy.

As I said before, momma broke one of those bones down near the ankle. Walking to her car, she stepped off the curb, because it was dark out, and somehow managed to incorporate her foot into a storm drain, in such a manner that the force of impact manipulated the bone so that a crack formed, separating bone from bone, minor injury.

About this same time, Emily, my sister, was dealing with a spider bite, that had just got infected. She was promptly admitted to the hospital for treatment. She ended up with a knot about the size of a baseball on her arm, staph infection, and the rare opportunity to possibly have her arm sliced open for draining! They did not have to open and drain.

Emily about chopped her hand off trying to trim hedges with a hatchet. Yes, trimming bushes, with a hatched.

Momma broke her hip, no shes not 80 or above. This was quite a few years ago. I know, how do you break a hip under the age of 80? She blames Crocs. Those delightfully comfortable plastic open-toed shoes/sandals. But yes, that happened.

There have been surgeries, casts, needles, heart machines, Momma having to use homemade sign language for a month, wheelchairs, walkers, and many more things.

Just about every Mother’s Day that rolls around, my first words after Happy Mother’s Day are, “How’s it healing or How’s therapy?”.

On this Mother’s Day I wish my momma a Happy Mother’s Day. Take it easy and heal up. I got you and Emily a joint gift, share as needed. It is a bubble. Use it wisely.

Follow me on Twitter @paulheels

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