Beards Fit in Well at the Zoo

Posted: May 27, 2013 in Family, Humor
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

So today, we went to the zoo. This is the first time I have been with Baby Gurr. The Beardess has taken her before.

I remember this zoo from elementary school and I believe I went in high school once. This zoo produced the best ever fake snake ever invented. It was about three feet long and block, looked as real as the real thing.

I scared the shit out of people in high school. Thought it was a good idea to put it in my mother’s desk drawer one day. She was a teacher at my high school. It so happened her class was the Senior English class, taking a very important test.

The story I got was, the scream was so loud teachers from other classrooms ran to her room to see what was going on. It worked out perfectly. I put the snake in the bottom right drawer. This is the drawer she kept markers and shit in, so she would dig in there without looking. Oh, the surprise when she felt something funny and saw ole snakey sitting in there!

I never got to use that snake again. I’m pretty sure it was drawn and quartered throughout the realm.

Back to the present day zoo trip. It was fairly uneventful. We had your regular zoo shit. Monkey cleaning monkey asses, gorillas being awesome.


Saw a couple flamingos doing the dirty flamingo.


Baby Gurr knew a right good many of the animals at the zoo. She was oober excited about the giraffes. She was a trooper and walked %90 of the day. We fed the goats, she let the goat eat out of her hand.

That one act, solidified my argument for needing goats. Baby Gurr will feed them.

As baby Gurr got tired, we had a small tantrum because she couldn’t see the giraffes. As the Beardess was bringing her back to the stroller, a Baby Gurr hand grabbed a Beardess’ earring and did a little tug, out came the diamond earring. After about 20 minutes of searching, all that we found was the back. Just as we were walking off, my eagle eyes spotted something peculiar. It, was, the cot damn earring!

I’m awesome and I saved the day.

Only saw one kid on a leash. I will say that it was a pretty cute leash though. It was a monkey backpack, and the monkey tail was the lead.

But, I still say, no kids on leashes people.

No SHave Never!

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