Sitting Here is not an Option

Posted: May 29, 2013 in Humor, Random
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

As I sit here, watching Mad Men, listening to them talk about Margarine versus Butter. Margarine versus Butter.

Are you shitting me? Wikipedia is always right, click that link.

Butter is all goodness.

Margarine sucks. I hate margarine.

Bringing myself back down to ground level down here where I am, at the bottom, up off that so called soap box. I will get to the point that I was going to get to before Margarine and damn Butter came on out.

I ran four miles today. I have been running a lot because that’s what tickles my fancy in the exercising department. I hate running. I think about hating running when I am running. Runners talk about getting a “runner’s high”.

To hell with that! I have never once, ever, been excited about running, excited about going running or excited about thinking about running. Not, never.

I even dislike when I am done running.

But I do love jumping rope. Jumping rope is relaxing and fun and neat. If you dislike jumping rope, it’s probably because you don’t know how.

We as Americans have made some major mistakes as American human beings. Margarine being one. The other, discontinuing the use of lard as an acceptable ingredient for delicious biscuits, and other deliciousness that should be cooked with lard.

My free subscription to Showtime ended yesterday. That is no good. How the hell am I supposed to watch Dexter and shit with not more Showtime? On top of that bad news, there is a rattle in my truck, right behind my left ear.

If there is something that will drive me to the brink of eating margarine, it is a rattle in a vehicle that I can not get to quit rattling. Damn it!

My beard looks exceptional today.

Ya’ll lookie here. If you eat margarine, you are no friend to kittens or puppies. And no friend of mine either.

No SHave Never!

Comments
  1. Sounds great :) If you ever want to read some funny and inspirational stories, you are more than welcome to come by my blog and have a Cup of Joe.

    Like

  2. paulheels says:

    Thanks hoss! I will keep up all the awesomeness that I can

    Like

  3. Hilarious post and keep up the awesome work :)

    Like

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