Beards Doing the Beard Grooming, and Christmas Song. Kind Of.

Posted: December 12, 2013 in Humor

The Christmas season has set upon us like the German bombs during the Battle of the Bulge. Some of us are hunkering down for the fight, some of us are running for our lives, some of us are basking in the glory of the ensuing battle.

Beards, we are just chillin, brushing our beards.
My swamper, Bernard and me did a Vine, singing a song. It’s six seconds, so it is just a tease of our angelic voices.

I love prunes, they are delicious.
So, the little baby boy that I made with the Beardess is exciting. I have been throwing around a couple names. Denim Plaid Roberts, DPR initials, which are mine. Sebastian (middle name TBD) Roberts, call him Sebass. The Beardess is not very excited about either of them. I am working on a way to get one of these passed. I have a creative mind, so I will probably think of a few more.

Purchased my first beard oil last week. It is damn glorious. It makes this wool pad beard hair of mine, somewhat brushable. It no longer sounds like a ripping croaker sack. I am pretty sure some of yall are gonna go Google croaker sack. Got me a couple new hair brushing utensils.


Grooming is very important for a beard. I might brush my hair once a week, I do not care about my hair. Though, it is quite luscious and beautiful.

I am going to go drink me a Wild Turkey.
Baby Gurr has been a hoot. She wants me to make my beard white, like Santa Claus. Apparently its not easy as just dying it white. It is 2013, and we still have to dye hair in stages? That is ridiculous.

I am pretty excited still. I was named the Smithfield’s Chicken ‘n Bar-B-Q’s FAN OF THE WEEK! I am super proud of that. those people sent me two coffee cups for free. They are great to their customers! You can see this on their Facebook page, at the top.

Follow them on twitter too @scnbnc

Well friends, it has been fun. Ya’ll spread the word around.

Follow me on twitter @paulheels. I tweet a lot and about a lot of everythings.

No SHave Never

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