Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

Last night was the College Football National Championship game. Notre Dame vs Alabama. The mighty SEC vs everyone else. Alabama won, hope no one taped it for later. As many guys do, some of us me up at a buddies house to watch some of the game. I arrived a little late because I ate a delicious home cooked meal by my wife. And I had to put my Baby Gurr nighty night. Whilst the other guys had to eat fried wings and fattening shit that is going to make their acid reflux act the fool.

None of us were actual fans of either team. Though two of my buddies are passionate about hating other teams more than they are passionate about loving their own teams. It is uncanny how both of them seem to always hate/love opposite teams. This makes my life as an instigator easier at instagationing.

The night of fun begins late for me. I arrive after I eat my scrumptious home cooked dinner. I purchase two Quart size High Life on my way to the party. Yes, whole damn quart sized beers, of HIGH LIFE! I was under the impression this was a guys night, but one of the guys brought his female dog. I brought my big ole lab, Stoney, he’s a guy because he still has his balls, in all their awesome glory. So I gave him shit, the dogs went outside and played.

The buddy who hosted this shindig got a new tv. Though I am sure I have seen this tv before, I did not know that his satellite was standard definition. Yes, my friends, it is 2013 still year of the Rabbit and he has a bad ass tv with STANDARD definition satellite. And we are there watching a National Championship Football game on damn standard definition tv. It is $10 more a month! TEN DOLLARS more. If he did not have nice tv, it would not be worth it, but he just paid real money for this tv.

The other friend jumped in and said that we should have had it at his place. “I would have had a fire going and surround sound…” at this point we all looked up and said that we want to watch a football game, not sit around a candle lit room. The sports bantering began here in an attempt to divert the conversation away from his untimely and misspoken words. Somehow it morphs into how Dook bball players don’t turn out to be good pro players. The Kentucky friend now has to relive the Laettener shot, in which he replies “if they just would have guarded the damn inbounds pass, damn it!” Now, some of yall might not know what the hell I am talking about, those of you that do will probably enjoy this.

The game turned out to be a beat down by Alabama. We all left by halftime, because some had to work the next day. I began a new knitting project, which I brought to the party. They all tried to pick on me but, I am bigger and meaner. It is just jealousy, that they do not know how to knit, want to know, but won’t learn because they don’t have awesome beards.

Y’all know how some stories are just not that good, unless you were present for them? Thats how I feel this post is. So if you don’t enjoy it, find some friends and re-enact. It will be fun then, I promise. You must drink beer.

This is Mike. He is a real person. Say hello to Mike. He has three fist names.


No Shave Never


It’s the first Saturday with no college football in months. Lost. That’s the first word that comes to mind. You’re gonna have that feeling of uneasiness and that you are forgetting something important. Anxiety will pounce on you like hawk swooping down to grab a mouse. Small increments of anger will fill the voids between depression and happiness. You will turn on the TV and have nothing to watch. That’s when you look out side and realize, five months of chores have now piled up. Reality sets back in. Now you actually hear your wife’s demands, before they were just mumbles and gargles. Football is over, well. The regular season.

Football makes us happy. Football on Saturdays is what boys dream about playing in high school and what grown me dream about watching Sunday and Friday nights. And if you don’t like college football, please, at the least like bacon.

Today we all lose a little happiness. Happiness we store in a different place until football returns. Happiness that we only use for football. To fill this void, we must fill it with a wife’s demand. This gives us the freedom to be football focused, again next year. Take a few hours of mourning. Then, set aside your feelings, store them away, and ask your wife how you may help her today. Earn your privilege to do nothing but football on Saturdays in 2013. But you gotta start now.

And start growing a beard. Your life will forever be changed. Football will be better, food will taste better, beer will taste better, bacon is always awesome, and you can be awesome.

Great football beard from a while ago.


No Shave Never


I finished up the BBQ last night. Got done a little late, so the beard said it was time to go to bed. And, just like you would your wife, you listen to the beard. This ended up being 28lbs of raw meat, two butts and a picnic. I heavily coated with a homemade dry rub, includes paprika, salt, pepper, small amount of cumin, and small amount of garlic. Easy and cheap. Also, I do not like most store bought rubs because they are super salty. Salt is cheap, it’s also the most recognizable flavor to many people. So, they are selling a product that does not allow the best most efficient pallatization. Meaning, you don’t get the full array of flavors that you could. Bottom line, learn to make your own. I cooked on an XL Big Green Egg.

This is pre egg


Butts are on the right, picnic is on the left. Learning point. The picnic and the butt, put together make the whole front shoulder. The butt is not the ass end of a pig, that’s the Ham, the butt is the top part of the shoulder. The picnic is the bottom part of the shoulder to the hock, the hock is the pigs front elbow. The whole shoulder is the butt and picnic together.

Here is a pic about 1/3 way through


Meats done and ready for a pullin.


You can let the meat sit, or not. It depends on your timeframe. I was tired, so I pulled a few minutes after it came off. Get some of Bear Claws for pulling, they are magical. You can find them on Amazon. If you need to pull the meat very early, double wrap in tin foil and place in a cooler. Pre heat cooler with hot water, dump water, add meat, leave meat whole. If you add towels, pre heat those as well. You can keep the meat in a cooler a long time, up to six hours. Depends on the temp the meat maintains, if you drop below 140 degrees, y might want to start thinking about jelling and refrigerating. That’s internal meat temp. Also, it will continue cooking in the cooler, but very little.

Cooking BBQ is easy. Grow a beard, get a grill and some wood, buy some pork and get to work. The beard will hold in that smoke smell for a few days, so can enjoys it gloriousness.

Sme ribeyes we had for dinner, cooked on the Weber Kettle


No Shave Never!