Posts Tagged ‘awesome beards’

I just received a horrorscope from the stars. I’m not sure which star it was, but I know it was a star because it sparkled and had a lot of money. I hope this is not a reoccurring thing, but if it is, I feel it is my duty to share the future of the unsuspecting.

Todays Horrorscope:
Any born between the months of Dec to Nov you will see a light in the AM. Your attitude is not driven by your altitude, but by the first person you encounter in a car, driving in the opposite direction. Contrary to popular belief, you will not be able to dictate your own attitude for the day, unless you know said person driving in the opposite direction and can dictate their attitude for the day.
The only sure way your attitude is determined by you, is by growing or already having grown a beard.
Good Luck

This concludes the horrorscope I was presented with, to present to the people.
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No Shave Never

Paul

The Twitter, or just Twitter. It is an amazing amazing amazing awesome social interface platform. Way much more better than the Facebook. But as is everything, it is for some people and not for others. There are differences in social ideology that make this strife between these two social media moguls liked and hated all at the same time by different folk at the same time.

The Twitter. Awesomeness packaged into a small simple package that allows for the person to tweet their thoughts in 140 characters. Makes you get to the point much quickerer, so, makes the reading aspect of the status updates much easier and more enjoyable to read. Twitter is for folks who like to update their status often. Whatever is on your mind at this time can be relayed to those followers, most of the time with the knowledge that you will not be scorned by said followers. Twitter is for the frequent updates.

Facebook. Great for catching up with old friends. Great for sharing pictures, when the stupid “photo upload” actually works. If you are a frequent status updater, be prepared to have your ass handed to you by your followers. It is unwritten rule, law, and will of the gods, that you will be chastised for frequent updates. No matter how awesome they might be.

This leads me into a rant about social media. You jack asses who complain about your privacy on social media, THERE IS NO PRIVACY. That is the whole point of the platform. If you do not like it, you can always leave.

Speaking on leaving, if you do not like what someone tweets or how often they tweet, you can U N F O L L O W those people. And if you do, you do not have to announce it to the world. Because this decision you just made is not as important as you just made it. No one cares as much as you do and this now makes you a hypocrite, because now you are status updating too damn much, the thing that you just unfollowed said person for.

I love how “unfollowing” has become “the thing to do” if you want to “get back” at a person. FIrst, that makes you childish. Second, that person probably does not even care.

Really after you get a hundred or so followers, no one really cares if you lose a follower or two.

If you post shit on the internets and Faceplace and The Twitterer, be happy when people “steal” your idea and share it. That is the point. Don’t share and actually do something with that idea if you think it’s that awesome.

Grown ups acting like elementary churrins, over some damn social media. This is fun time. Be happy.

Twitter is for eccentric, crazy, share your mind people. The best thing for sports, in the America, is Twitter. Sports writers and beat writers are on the Twitter and they tweet alot and it is awesome. The most up-to-date information is on Twitter, you just need to follow the guys who cover your teams and sports.

If you love college football go follow @inthebleachers. An old teammate of mine at UNC. He tweets alot of stuff, from his love of UGGZ to his hatred/fear of birds. He live tweets TV shows which is great if you don’t have cable. You want in depth, great football knowledge. Check him out. You will learn how to talk football, like a coach, using real life football terms. It’s good stuff.

Beards love sports. Beards love to love things that you can love.

The magical wolf shirt is so much more magicaler with a beard. Really, the magic is even more magic than magic mike had in that there stripping movie, where he was magical.

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No Shave Never

Paul.

It’s Friday morning, 24 degrees outside and I’m loving it. I do not have to work today, being the best reason for loving this wonderful crisp humid brisk cold ass morning. Literally, I love this shit. Most southerners are mad, angry, pissed, scared, whining, confused, bum-fuddled and/or confused. Not me, I am happy, joyous, comfortable and most importantly not sweating.

I sweat like there is no tomorrow after the the sun has risen on the day in which tomorrow was tomorrow only yesterday. In the sultry summers of South Carolina, I go through socks and T shirts. Not just go through them daily, usually I have to throw away three to four pair a month and buy new, because I sweat death to cotton.

Most people look at my hair and beard and see glorious awesomeness. In the summer time, the question I get asked the most is; “How do you wear that beard in this hear?” Here is a little lesson, that I am going to teach you about how drink machines and air conditioners work. There is a thing called an evaporator. This is what the freon flows through. There are fins surrounding the main line. Air is pushed across the evaporator, creating a cooling effect, which in turns creates cool air.

This is an evaporator.

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My beard acts the same way as an evaporator. When sweat fills my face, my beard becomes wet, when I walk or the wind blows, a cooling effect is created. It’s also a great sunblock. None of that smelly ass sunscreen on my face, making me all sticky and shit. Yet another reason why beards are one of the greatest gifts you can ever give yourself. So much awesomeness and usefulness the beard provides.

This is why my heart brakes every time I see someone shave their beard because it’s summer time. These folks just do not know how beneficial that beard can be to them in the heat of the summer. The association between beards and heat retention in the winter time, has made people blind to how great of a cooling mechanism the beard is in the summer.

It’s my dog’s birthday today, Stoney. He is three years old. We have a fun filled day for him planned. A trip to Pet Smart, I might even let him sit in front of the cat adoption window. He will probably go by the guinea pig pen and he can lick the glass.

Balls up. Good times.

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No Shave Never

Paul