Posts Tagged ‘big beards’

The past week has been busy. This time of year is my busy time. With lighting fires and all. Good fires though, not bad fires. And I get paid, real money for this shit I tell ya. The beard has had an interesting few days. I noticed two days ago that the beard has gained some length. Which is awesome, because My beard does not look that long. Two main reasons are the reason for this. One, because my beard hair is curlier that a hogs tail. Two, I have alot of neck beard.

So the beard has been starting fires, in the woods, and getting paid. This means, most of the wonderfully awesome food morsels that take refuge in the beard during lunch, which are typically warm leftovers, are now cold. Lots of sandwiches inhabit the beard this time of year. Bread crumbs maneuver their way into the crevices of the hair jungle, making themselves just visible to the most keen of beard gazers.

Anyone with a beard knows what I mean. We typically have shit in our beards after eating. It is a right of passage, to finally have a beard worthy enough of keeping food. Some folks will tell you, some folks won’t. The ones who will alert you to, what they perceive as a socially unacceptable manner fail, are the beard gazers. The beard has magical powers. These gazers become enthralled in the magic, some knowingly, some unwittingly.

I have so much to talk about. But I am yet not busy enough to conglomerate the information into a formidable form of proper grammar connotations. But, alas! I am off on Friday and Saturday for a few months. Go!
This was our warming fire during lunch. There’s only a thousand acres of fire around us, it was cold ish, not for me but for two others.


No Shave Never!

Paul Heyyyooo!

The hangover after Christmas. We all have some sort of hangover, even us beards. Contrary to popular belief, there are a lot more hangovers than just alcohol. Food hangovers, present hangovers, family hangovers, sleep deprivation hangovers, post vacation hangovers, Christmas music hangovers, A Christmas Story hangovers, Christmas cookie hangovers, I could go on and on and on.

Me, I typically have the food hangover, by the time we leave for home after visiting the families, I can’t even drink water. We see two families when we are in North Carolina. The food is so good on both sides, that I can not help myself when it comes to eating. The ingredients are so rich, and the food is so tasty, it is addictive. I have never done crack or meth, but the level of addictiveness has got to be on par with those drugs. I will hurt myself eating. Then the leftovers come home and we eat on those for a few days.

This Christmas has been very different than any Christmas my wife and I have ever had. One, because this is the first where our daughter has understood a small part of what Christmas is about. Second, this is the first time we have seen family on Christmas Day in two years. Baby Gurr, has been sick as a dog, but to see her happiness with presents makes me happy. This Christmas I did not care what I got, I just wanted to see baby Gurr enjoy all that she was given.

Seeing her this Christmas brought back memories of when I was a child. To me, that is what makes the holidays special. The older I get, the more I reflect on my past. I have the belief, that is why grandparents want to be with their grand babies so much. They bring back memories of their childhood.

For many of us bearded folk, we get the tragic hangover of beard hate. Aunts and grandmas make it their personal vendetta to eradicate the beard. They usually begin with taunts of “you are so good looking without all the facial hair” and “I can’t believe you still have that thing”. If they don’t think any of those type attacks have an affect, they move on to wife involvement. This can have two different kinds of outcomes.
One, the wife has accepted the beard and does not want to hear it. Or the wife loves the beard, and still does not want to hear it.
Two, the wife has feelings drawn to the surface that she has suppressed. Now, we have a mad wife being poked by aunts and grandmas, in hopes the beard will be shaved because of the wrath which will ensue. Good family fun!

Today was more of a rambling. But I got a new wireless keyboard for the iPad and I wanted to use it. I will probably have some more ridiculousness later.
This is not embarrassing for bearders, its a right of passage.


Happy New year folks!

No Shave Never