Posts Tagged ‘cats’

Another morning, another sunrise, another day of beards growing. Some of ya’ll probably have animals, some of you don’t and some of y’all probably would let a pet die two days in. I have animals, two cats and one dog. That’s not enough, I want more. I love animals, I love to watch animals. My psychologically educated driven answer to this love of animals, I believe, is the natural beardedness of animals.

I have had a love for loving animals since I could remember. I was fortunate enough to grow up in the country, where cats and dogs adopted your home and we obliged by accepting and feeding them. There was no, “take this dog/cat to the pound and let’s hope someone adopts it.” No, that animal showed up and we accepted with open arms. I know to this day, the town I grew up in, McBee, South Carolina, people still behave in this manner.

My animal’s personalities are awesome. They make me laugh on a daily basis. One thing I am good at is poking fun, or as my wife calls it “acting like a damn child”. Anyone who knows me and especially people who grew up with me know very well what I am talking about. Picking on people is a way to show their love, mainly in the country. By “in the country” I mean the South, us Southerners. Southerners will pick on you five minutes in to meeting you. That is a good thing people! For shy folks, its a great ice breaker that is so uncomfortable they feel really not comfortable at all. But, the introduction process is quick, easy, and requires little work for the shy.

Back to fun with cats and other unsuspecting animals that know it’s coming because they aren’t stupid, but know they have nowhere to hide. We have two cats, Missy and Brutus. They were adopted from the pound in Chapel Hill, NC back in 2004.

Missy is the cat on the right.


I grew up with cats, and these are the only cats I have ever had that hate to be held. Literally, H A T E it! They are easier to contain in a bathtub full of water, than just trying to hold them. Pick Brutus up and it feels like you are trying to hold onto a 6×6 piece of wood.

If you know anything about cats, you know they are some of the most paranoid creatures on earth. Well, I know this and I love to strengthen their paranoia and reaction time by having routine practices in the art of recognition and evasion. I love to chase the cats around the house. Stoney, the lab, loves it too. It’s awesome. We chase the kitty cats, they get all freaked out and like most cats they lose all reasoning abilities. They usually run until they corner themselves, then cower down and wait for me to come pick them up. I then take them to the bed so they can get their post workout nap in.


Missy, the little grey cat, is the worst cat I have ever seen in my entire life. To be clear, she is the worst cat at being a cat. She lacks most of the qualities that make cats, catlike. She can’t jump. Every time she attempts a jump, it’s a fail. She falls. She has no idea how to play. GIve her a toy and she swats at it oh so gingerly, once it’s out of arms length, she’s done.

Yesterday was my Baby Gurr’s 2nd birthday. She turned two years old. This coming weekend we will celebrate. She is now old enough to begin gardening, raking leaves, scooping poop out the back yard and weeding. All these will begin being taught on Friday.

“Life lessons learned early are life successes later.”

Do you like podcasts? Do you like crazy funny podcasts? The Black Guy Who Tips. I recommend it. It’s quite the funny.

Link to The Black Guy Who Tips

No Shave Never!


Today, if you read this, it will be a bunch of randomness and a bearded dance. When I write, I can not just think stuff up when I want to. Typically I will have moments where some crazy shit comes to mind. It might last hours or days. Then, I have times like the last few days. My mind has been unmotivated, I have had yard projects to do, and baby Gurr has been home.

This morning, I am up early not because I wasn’t sleeping so awesome, but because my wife heard a door opening. Now, there are correct and incorrect ways to awaken your spouse when home intrusion might be afoot. Because we got to get our shit together real quick. That means awake, decipher what the hell is going on, listen to make sure it wasn’t a dream, get tactically prepared. All this before clearing the house.

Well this happened to me this morning. At about 4 AM. My wife wakes me up and says she hears a door opening. I listen and hear this, it doesn’t sound like a door being kicked in. Maybe just the knob being turned. I get my firearm, tactically begin to clear rooms. Once everything is clear, I try to figure out what is going on through the dry scratchiness of my pre awakened contacts. At this moment, my wife throws on the hall light. A big no no! Never turn the light on! Now I have no night vision to go with my sandpaper contacts. In a moment of revelation, I remember not having my buddy Brutus come to get petted when we got in bed. He is one of our cats, and he doesn’t miss bed time. My wife hears a meow, and sure nuff, the damn cat is outside the back door trying to get inside because its raining. Now this is an inside cat, who is allowed outside for supervised minutes. He thinks he is a cow and eats grass, but when he regurgitates he doesn’t have a second stomach, so it ends up on the floor. We let baby Gurr be the cat police when we are outside, she supervises well.

Thankfully this turned out to be a wet cat trying to get inside. But, I could not go back to sleep. My wife says waking up and then going back to sleep is an art and that I should learn how to do it. Just as I type this, she walks in and asks if I went back to sleep. I said no, so I got the “this is how you go back to sleep when you wake up at night and its not time to get up” speech. I like getting up early, drinking coffee, and looking at the internet on a dark peaceful quiet morning.

There are times when people do things that they are ashamed of, or not proud of. I believe that if you can not laugh at yourself, then you can’t be happy or laugh at someone else. I do a lot of all three. Typically any time that I dance, which is never for “real” because I can not dance for shit, I am not proud of my actions. I only hope the actions I perform are laughable.

A friend of ours sent us a video on New Year’s night of him up in the club “grinding” on his wife. The video was quite naturally very dark and you could not see anything, because it was dark. I made a recording, which is my interpretation of his dancing. This video in no way represents how I dance, this should only be used as a tool to gauge the dancing of an unnamed friend. This video may be offensive to those people who like dancing.

Baby Gurr and I went to Lowes yesterday. It seems like every time we go to Lowes together, it turns into a version of the Beverly Hillbillies, because something is tied to the car.
Here is a trip from this past spring. That’s a door.


The trip yesterday was a chain link fence gate in the trunk, of the same car, with the trunk half open. It was only half open because it was tied down with a piece of wire. Good times with baby Gurr.

Yall Enjoy! I got to go back to Lowes to get the carpet cleaner. Because today is carpet cleaning day.

No Shave Never