Posts Tagged ‘Christmas’

The hangover after Christmas. We all have some sort of hangover, even us beards. Contrary to popular belief, there are a lot more hangovers than just alcohol. Food hangovers, present hangovers, family hangovers, sleep deprivation hangovers, post vacation hangovers, Christmas music hangovers, A Christmas Story hangovers, Christmas cookie hangovers, I could go on and on and on.

Me, I typically have the food hangover, by the time we leave for home after visiting the families, I can’t even drink water. We see two families when we are in North Carolina. The food is so good on both sides, that I can not help myself when it comes to eating. The ingredients are so rich, and the food is so tasty, it is addictive. I have never done crack or meth, but the level of addictiveness has got to be on par with those drugs. I will hurt myself eating. Then the leftovers come home and we eat on those for a few days.

This Christmas has been very different than any Christmas my wife and I have ever had. One, because this is the first where our daughter has understood a small part of what Christmas is about. Second, this is the first time we have seen family on Christmas Day in two years. Baby Gurr, has been sick as a dog, but to see her happiness with presents makes me happy. This Christmas I did not care what I got, I just wanted to see baby Gurr enjoy all that she was given.

Seeing her this Christmas brought back memories of when I was a child. To me, that is what makes the holidays special. The older I get, the more I reflect on my past. I have the belief, that is why grandparents want to be with their grand babies so much. They bring back memories of their childhood.

For many of us bearded folk, we get the tragic hangover of beard hate. Aunts and grandmas make it their personal vendetta to eradicate the beard. They usually begin with taunts of “you are so good looking without all the facial hair” and “I can’t believe you still have that thing”. If they don’t think any of those type attacks have an affect, they move on to wife involvement. This can have two different kinds of outcomes.
One, the wife has accepted the beard and does not want to hear it. Or the wife loves the beard, and still does not want to hear it.
Two, the wife has feelings drawn to the surface that she has suppressed. Now, we have a mad wife being poked by aunts and grandmas, in hopes the beard will be shaved because of the wrath which will ensue. Good family fun!

Today was more of a rambling. But I got a new wireless keyboard for the iPad and I wanted to use it. I will probably have some more ridiculousness later.
This is not embarrassing for bearders, its a right of passage.

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Happy New year folks!

No Shave Never

Paul

The story of the Christmas Beard is a story most of you have never heard before. It’s a story that has been around for thousands of years. Passed down from generation to generation by word of mouth. Fewer people are told this story each year, because fewer people are allowing the beard life. There is no secret society that saves the world from dangers. Us bearded folk are everyday people with extraordinary self will and awesome hair. Once you look past the hairy, or rough and hairy exterior, you have a person’s personality.

Some of you might have been told the Christmas beard story before, but you don’t even know it. Some of you might have heard the Christmas beard story and it not even be Christmas. The Christmas beard story happens everyday. But those that actually understand what is being told to us, truly understand and comprehend the full meaning and comprehension of the Christmas beard story. Not everyone can appreciate the story of the Christmas beard. It’s somewhat like the first time you watch Super Troopers, you don’t get it. But the next 250 times and after you memorized it, your appreciation and loyalty to the comic value make it one of the best comedies ever. You must allow yourself to be allowed to allow the story of the Christmas beard to be told.

You see, Christmas is a time and holiday for forgiving, receiving, giving, acceptance and personal warmth in most places. Beards keep us warm. If you don’t know. Just take it as fact from someone with a beard. I know it seems a little weird and unconventional that personal warmth is in there. That’s the point of the story of the Christmas beard. Unconventionality, is the convention of not being conventional in an unconventional way. (My definition, not Webster’s, and it works, do the math you wizards). Tacky Christmas sweater parties, Mule Ties, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, chimneys, hot totties, coffee, toboggans (the ones you wear on your head, not the sleds, for you northern folks), carhartt clothes, fires, and Christmas flannel pajammies; all staples of Christmas and all things that have something to do with keeping a person warm.

If you begin to think about this a little more, you will see, personal warmth is more of a Christmas “theme” than receiving, forgiving, giving, and acceptance. Matter of fact, not opinion, so much personal warmth is given for Christmas.

The story of the Christmas beard is not something I just made up, for you heathens who might think that. It’s obvious I do not have that kind of imaginative imagination.

The story of the Christmas beard I will tell you, but you must be willing to be told without the unwillingness to not be willing. It’s a story that all will hear but many will not know. It’s not a riddle or rhyme, but haiku in nature.

Wintry tis the beard
Mirrored upon the person
A beard reflection

Merry Christmas bearded and non-bearded ones. Hug a beard this Xmas, smile bigger.

Warmth and camo, can’t not hardly see me I bet.

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No Shave Never!

Paul

No Shave Never is the phrase of the month. So, no shave November, Movember, is over and there are a plethora of men shaving off their infant man hoods today. A fight so great that the beard is used as its mascot. Literally the beard is the face of the fight against prostate cancer movement, literally THE FACE of it. If a man begins Movember first, ceasing to shave, he will have a full months growth of beard by the end of November. (I hope that makes sense to everyone. ) A beard so young and vibrant never gets to see Christmas or Santa Claus. By the time Thanksgiving rolls around, your beard is not long enough to adequately retain crumbs from Thanksgiving dinner. By Christmas, that beard could stash some serious left overs. Guys, at least think about letting your beard experience Christmas morning coffee and toast.

You have already passed the worst part about the beard growing experience. Think about the awareness to prostate cancer you will bestow next year, with a whole years worth of beard. I say, if y’all are serious about bringing awareness to this issue, we should be No Shave Never. Hell yeah!

Y’all got photos of your beards? Send me some photos!

paulheels@gmail.com

Something about this beard just makes me happy.

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No Shave Never Bearders

Paul