Posts Tagged ‘food’

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No Shave Never

Paul

Thanksgiving leftovers are one of the greatest culinary secrets in America. I have been a part of Thanksgiving leftovers for 30 years now. A few I can’t remember, but I was there. As my beard grew from a youngin to its now dominant head of household, my appreciation for leftovers has exploded into a love affair. I hate to think of the plethora of leftovers that are discarded and wasted in America. With a little imagination and a big smile, you can take those leftovers to another dimension. That thanksgiving turkey will become an all new exciting meal. That dressing will have new meaning to it, a delight full of delightfulness.

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Turkey, the iconic Thanksgiving figure that is massacred by the millions for consumption. You can fry it, smoke it, bake it and probably a few other ways I am unaware of. It doesn’t matter how the turkey is initially prepared, the endless options available for re-cooking are endless.
The best way to eat turkey is on a sandwich with tomato, Duke’s mayo and sharp cheddar.
Turkey salad.
Pan-Refried turkey and eggs.
Chopped turkey and queso salsa.

Next up HAM! Good ole honey baked ham. Pork is where ham comes from and pork comes from pig. I love pig and all the foods that can be made from pig. The greatest food animal ever!
Pan fried ham. Can be eaten with eggs, put on sandwiches.
Caramelized brown sugar coated ham fried in butter. A delicious delicacy.
Cold ham on sandwich bread with just Duke’s mayo.
Ham in butter beans, field peas, cow peas, practically any bean when cooking.
Load up the ham and/or bone for split pea soup. Makes a miraculous miracle soup.

Dressing/stuffing. Everyone’s mom or grandma makes the best they have ever had. And that is probably true. When you have grown up eating a particular meal or food the same way all your life, you acquire a certain taste. Scientifically speaking, yo momma’s cooking is better than everyone else’s momma’s cooking.
Cut into squares or circles, dip in egg and flour and fry. Just like you would grits. Here is a how to on frying grits. fry me a grits

The beans and taters. These are simple. My favorite way to eat these is the beans mixed in with the potatoes. Stir it all about and eat. I don’t know why, but I look forward to this left over meal more than anything else. There’s something a about mixing delicious butter beans, corn and mashed potatoes that melts my heart.

I hope these simple leftover meals will inspire you not to waste that food someone prepared on the day of giving thanks. Be creative and make your own recipe. If you have a leftover meal you love, let me know about it. Leftovers are one of my favorite foods.

Grow a beard, be a man.

Paul

Thanksgiving. The time of year we celebrate what we are thankful for by over eating. We celebrate the friendliness and support the Indians gave our early settlers. We get together with family to devour large turkeys cooked in a variety of ways. This is like a scrimmage, preparing for Christmas. Making sure any new recipes didn’t need tweaking and making sure the amounts of food were sufficient.
But let’s talk about what thanksgiving has morphed into and how to be proficient at executing the most important executable intangibles. BLACK FRIDAY……… The day of the year where masses of people gather, cramming themselves into stores. How the fire Marshall doesn’t stop this madness is beyond me. To be successfully successful at Black Friday shopping, you need to be organized and tough. But having a beard is comparable to having the biggest baddest nukes on the planet. You let someone break in line, then a beard go confront them. Shits gonna change quick.

Here are some Black Friday tips
1. Go running before you go shopping. Be very smelly and sweaty, do not shower or change. This will keep people from bumping into you or crowding you. That will alleviate your chances of getting pick pocketed.
2. Go in pairs. No more no less.
3. Wear work boots, steel toe preferable. Great for shin kicks, toe stomps and makes you taller.
4. Wear bells, something like bear warning bells.
5. Make sure your hair is messy and greasy. Makes you look crazy.
6. First purchase should be a bat, it should be accessible and visible.
7. Grow a beard. Think of this person I described walking around Walmart shopping. Now close your eyes and picture this person with a beard. Serious. That’s what it is. You will get shit done with the utmost awesomeness.

I wanted to write these tips after this Black Friday so y’all will have your mistakes fresh in mind. Follow my first six tips and you will be a Black Friday pro. Grow a beard and become a Black Friday GOD.

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Black Friday beard example

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Grow a beard, save a life.