Posts Tagged ‘ham’

The Day After Christmas Hangover, A Beards View

Posted: December 26, 2012 in Family, Humor
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The hangover after Christmas. We all have some sort of hangover, even us beards. Contrary to popular belief, there are a lot more hangovers than just alcohol. Food hangovers, present hangovers, family hangovers, sleep deprivation hangovers, post vacation hangovers, Christmas music hangovers, A Christmas Story hangovers, Christmas cookie hangovers, I could go on and on and on.

Me, I typically have the food hangover, by the time we leave for home after visiting the families, I can’t even drink water. We see two families when we are in North Carolina. The food is so good on both sides, that I can not help myself when it comes to eating. The ingredients are so rich, and the food is so tasty, it is addictive. I have never done crack or meth, but the level of addictiveness has got to be on par with those drugs. I will hurt myself eating. Then the leftovers come home and we eat on those for a few days.

This Christmas has been very different than any Christmas my wife and I have ever had. One, because this is the first where our daughter has understood a small part of what Christmas is about. Second, this is the first time we have seen family on Christmas Day in two years. Baby Gurr, has been sick as a dog, but to see her happiness with presents makes me happy. This Christmas I did not care what I got, I just wanted to see baby Gurr enjoy all that she was given.

Seeing her this Christmas brought back memories of when I was a child. To me, that is what makes the holidays special. The older I get, the more I reflect on my past. I have the belief, that is why grandparents want to be with their grand babies so much. They bring back memories of their childhood.

For many of us bearded folk, we get the tragic hangover of beard hate. Aunts and grandmas make it their personal vendetta to eradicate the beard. They usually begin with taunts of “you are so good looking without all the facial hair” and “I can’t believe you still have that thing”. If they don’t think any of those type attacks have an affect, they move on to wife involvement. This can have two different kinds of outcomes.
One, the wife has accepted the beard and does not want to hear it. Or the wife loves the beard, and still does not want to hear it.
Two, the wife has feelings drawn to the surface that she has suppressed. Now, we have a mad wife being poked by aunts and grandmas, in hopes the beard will be shaved because of the wrath which will ensue. Good family fun!

Today was more of a rambling. But I got a new wireless keyboard for the iPad and I wanted to use it. I will probably have some more ridiculousness later.
This is not embarrassing for bearders, its a right of passage.

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Happy New year folks!

No Shave Never

Paul

The Beards Guide to Post-Thanksgiving Leftover Meals

Posted: November 24, 2012 in Grilling/Cooking, Humor, Sports
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Thanksgiving leftovers are one of the greatest culinary secrets in America. I have been a part of Thanksgiving leftovers for 30 years now. A few I can’t remember, but I was there. As my beard grew from a youngin to its now dominant head of household, my appreciation for leftovers has exploded into a love affair. I hate to think of the plethora of leftovers that are discarded and wasted in America. With a little imagination and a big smile, you can take those leftovers to another dimension. That thanksgiving turkey will become an all new exciting meal. That dressing will have new meaning to it, a delight full of delightfulness.

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Turkey, the iconic Thanksgiving figure that is massacred by the millions for consumption. You can fry it, smoke it, bake it and probably a few other ways I am unaware of. It doesn’t matter how the turkey is initially prepared, the endless options available for re-cooking are endless.
The best way to eat turkey is on a sandwich with tomato, Duke’s mayo and sharp cheddar.
Turkey salad.
Pan-Refried turkey and eggs.
Chopped turkey and queso salsa.

Next up HAM! Good ole honey baked ham. Pork is where ham comes from and pork comes from pig. I love pig and all the foods that can be made from pig. The greatest food animal ever!
Pan fried ham. Can be eaten with eggs, put on sandwiches.
Caramelized brown sugar coated ham fried in butter. A delicious delicacy.
Cold ham on sandwich bread with just Duke’s mayo.
Ham in butter beans, field peas, cow peas, practically any bean when cooking.
Load up the ham and/or bone for split pea soup. Makes a miraculous miracle soup.

Dressing/stuffing. Everyone’s mom or grandma makes the best they have ever had. And that is probably true. When you have grown up eating a particular meal or food the same way all your life, you acquire a certain taste. Scientifically speaking, yo momma’s cooking is better than everyone else’s momma’s cooking.
Cut into squares or circles, dip in egg and flour and fry. Just like you would grits. Here is a how to on frying grits. fry me a grits

The beans and taters. These are simple. My favorite way to eat these is the beans mixed in with the potatoes. Stir it all about and eat. I don’t know why, but I look forward to this left over meal more than anything else. There’s something a about mixing delicious butter beans, corn and mashed potatoes that melts my heart.

I hope these simple leftover meals will inspire you not to waste that food someone prepared on the day of giving thanks. Be creative and make your own recipe. If you have a leftover meal you love, let me know about it. Leftovers are one of my favorite foods.

Grow a beard, be a man.

Paul