Posts Tagged ‘how to knit’

Last night was the College Football National Championship game. Notre Dame vs Alabama. The mighty SEC vs everyone else. Alabama won, hope no one taped it for later. As many guys do, some of us me up at a buddies house to watch some of the game. I arrived a little late because I ate a delicious home cooked meal by my wife. And I had to put my Baby Gurr nighty night. Whilst the other guys had to eat fried wings and fattening shit that is going to make their acid reflux act the fool.

None of us were actual fans of either team. Though two of my buddies are passionate about hating other teams more than they are passionate about loving their own teams. It is uncanny how both of them seem to always hate/love opposite teams. This makes my life as an instigator easier at instagationing.

The night of fun begins late for me. I arrive after I eat my scrumptious home cooked dinner. I purchase two Quart size High Life on my way to the party. Yes, whole damn quart sized beers, of HIGH LIFE! I was under the impression this was a guys night, but one of the guys brought his female dog. I brought my big ole lab, Stoney, he’s a guy because he still has his balls, in all their awesome glory. So I gave him shit, the dogs went outside and played.

The buddy who hosted this shindig got a new tv. Though I am sure I have seen this tv before, I did not know that his satellite was standard definition. Yes, my friends, it is 2013 still year of the Rabbit and he has a bad ass tv with STANDARD definition satellite. And we are there watching a National Championship Football game on damn standard definition tv. It is $10 more a month! TEN DOLLARS more. If he did not have nice tv, it would not be worth it, but he just paid real money for this tv.

The other friend jumped in and said that we should have had it at his place. “I would have had a fire going and surround sound…” at this point we all looked up and said that we want to watch a football game, not sit around a candle lit room. The sports bantering began here in an attempt to divert the conversation away from his untimely and misspoken words. Somehow it morphs into how Dook bball players don’t turn out to be good pro players. The Kentucky friend now has to relive the Laettener shot, in which he replies “if they just would have guarded the damn inbounds pass, damn it!” Now, some of yall might not know what the hell I am talking about, those of you that do will probably enjoy this.

The game turned out to be a beat down by Alabama. We all left by halftime, because some had to work the next day. I began a new knitting project, which I brought to the party. They all tried to pick on me but, I am bigger and meaner. It is just jealousy, that they do not know how to knit, want to know, but won’t learn because they don’t have awesome beards.

Y’all know how some stories are just not that good, unless you were present for them? Thats how I feel this post is. So if you don’t enjoy it, find some friends and re-enact. It will be fun then, I promise. You must drink beer.

This is Mike. He is a real person. Say hello to Mike. He has three fist names.


No Shave Never


As I sat on the couch drinking beer, watching football and knitting; I thought about the new year approaching. I started thinking about my Christmas list for next year, because everyone knows you gotta start that thing at the beginning of the year, I quickly remembered I had a scarf to finish knitting. Yes I have said knitting, twice. Yes I was the one doing the knitting. I’m sure I have said this before, beards continually surprise you in a continuous manner. I’m a person of restless mind syndrome. This means I have to have something to do, always. Well, I have been wanting to learn how to knit, mostly to make toboggans, the ones that go on your head. But I would be willing to do some mittens, scarves, and socks if the need arose. A scarf is the easiest thing to learn. I asked my wife to help me out, she thought I was playing, I got the yarn basket and made her teach me.


This might come as a surprise to many of you. “This guy knits?” I can see you asking yourselves. Do not judge, there are many things that I can do that surprise alot of people. I can sew, I am not a master seamstress, but I know how to operate a needle. I know damn well I can cook and clean as good as any woman. I love cooking.


As my creation came to an end, I was somewhat bum-fuddled as to what the hell it was. It started off as a scarf project, but it came out a square. Don’t mind those large holes at the top, its for airflow, tho I did not purposely do that on purpose. As I was contemplating what I could use this as, many thoughts filled my thinking mind.

“Hey!” I told myself, what about a blanket for the kitty cats. Cause I love my kitties and they look cold. If they have a blanket they won’t have to curl up in all those weird positions to stay warm.


Another option that I came up with is a summer sun, head shield for Stoney, our dog. I do not think he will keep it on though. Probably have to knit a chin piece for him.


It is a little small to be a blanket for Baby Gurr.

Ya’ll take a look, let me know if you have any suggestions. Be prepared for more knitting projects to pop up. My main goal is to be able to knit toboggans. At some point, I would like to make some toboggans for the babies at hospitals.

No Shave Never