Posts Tagged ‘princesses.’

Today was day two of our adventures in Disney World, Magic Kingdom edition. If you missed the last two days recaps you can go HERE AND HERE to catch up.


Baby Gurr understood what was going to be happening today better than I thought she would. She was very excited to be going to see Mickey and Minnie and Ariel and every one else. I was all happy because I was gonna get some princess hugs with photos.


We arrived at the park just past 9 AM. There were not a large amount of people there yet, but they were arriving in droves. We went to hop on the trolly to the park. At Animal Kingdom, the trolly people were nice. At Magic Kingdom, the trolly folks are not mean, but they damn well mean what the say. Ya’ll better get ya asses behind, and stay behind that yellow line. Remember this if you make the trek to Magic Kingdom. You will be embarrassed if you do not listen to the “get back guy”.

Take the boat across the pond to the entrance, less people and faster than the trolly, it was for us.

When we got in, behind the gates, the Beardess had to run to the bathroom because she had to tinkle something fierce.

We then got a map, mapped out our day and proceeded to fulfill all the dreams we dreamt pertaining to the Magic Kingdom of Walt Disney World. I was greeted awesomely and loudly by three older ladies, whom I perceived to be ladies of the night making their way home after their nightly duties. Tehy called me the King of the Hairy People. I “heyyyooo’ed” them!

20130302-205411.jpg Baby Gurr entering the magical land of magic.

We made our first ride, the Magic Tea Cups. It was great.


Then we went to It’s A Small World. Now I can vividly remember this ride from the previous two or three times I have been here. Shit’s creepy as hell. I’m telling you. I go into combat mode and formulate escape routes and lethal defense maneuvers, because I just know that all those dolls have a plan to really go ape shit on us one day. The song is creepy, the dolls look like Chuckie, they stare at you, some even wink at you. That shit is not right. If any of ya’ll have been on that ride, you might not admit it, but you think the same thing.

Tip: Get the Fast Passes. They are worth it. Some things will not have long waits, those are the things you can do while waiting on the Fast Pass times. We waited five to ten minutes on every ride we had Fast Passes on, the regular line was an hour on average.

Baby Gurr went sweater shopping between rides.

20130302-210337.jpg This was first

20130302-210357.jpg Then this.

20130302-210419.jpg She settled on this one!

This pose is the “get shit done” pose.

Baby Gurr’s second birthday was Ariel themed. So no matter the wait, we were going to see Ariel and ride the Under the Sea ride. We headed that way pretty early. The line to see Ariel was not crazy, but the cave that the line meandered through was loud as hell. And filled with churrins. The high pitched screams of girls under the age of 7 are deafening. Put them in confined spaces, numbering into the twenties, if not thirties, and you have a Weapon of Mass Destruction.


This was hell. But, when we got to Ariel, it was great. Baby Gurr was not as scurred as she was yesterday, so we got a couple decent photos.


It was about time for lunch, and let me tell you something, there are lines for everything as the Disney World, except the bathrooms. So, pick a place to eat and go with it. We picked the Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Cafe. It was ok. But I did get to see this old guy who I suspect was a body builder at some point, but was not anymore, but still wore the clothes. Lookie here.


20130302-211822.jpg Baby Gurr and the Beardess planning the rest of our afternoon. Baby Gurr was quite helpful.

After lunch, shit got real. I had to start using the brake on the stroller, which I have never done. I felt weird. Next, the park got oober more crowded. I learned something about churrins that I probably already knew but had forgotten until now. Churrins have no concept of personal space. They will back up to someone and not even care who it is. They will just go grabbing at legs because the person has on Khaki colored shorts just like their dad, but it is not their dad. Good times.

Yesterday I wrote about children who really are not children anymore being pushed around in strollers by their parents. My take is that if that child wipes their own ass, no way in hell I’m pushing them around in a stroller. So today,

20130302-212206.jpg This is someone who is atleast above the age of 40, and that is not a wheel chair. And they were out cold.

As the day began winding down, so did Baby Gurr. She was a straight up trooper today. She did everything with a smile and really enjoyed all the rides. Even at the end of the day, she was exhausted but she powered through.

As we were making our way towards the trolly to go home. These three women were running towards the trolly, which was not about to leave and had a whole empty car. So they were in danger of being left, in every other sane person’s mind that is, not theirs though. This one lady tripped, because the athleticism she showed was comparable to a 500 pound person driving a Rascal. After she tripped, she flew threw the air about four inches off the ground, and in the most athletic way she could muster, tried to save herself with her plastic commemorative popcorn bucket. Didn’t work, and she lay there weeping.

I truly felt sorry for the lady, the two young women with her did not and laughed. The lesson learned here is; it’s ok to run to the trolly because you fear you might get left, but throw your commemorative Magic Kingdom popcorn mug away from the body so as to not crack the handle and make it inoperative for future uses.

Disney has mastered the art of parking. It is amazing and amazes me with pure amazement. Disney also has mastered predicting waiting times of lines. The way they flow traffic around Magic Kingdom is flawless. They even funnel traffic in certain areas so as to make people more likely to go into shops, because the shops look less crowded than outside and they have an exit at the other end. Brillaint.

Two important things to note. I did not get one single damn picture with a princess today. My heart hurts over this. I was gonna Teo this story, but thought better of it. Disney needs to make these princesses more available!

Also, I did get to eat a Mighty Casey Weiner. It was delicious.

My brain is tired. 8 hour drive home tomorrow, so I’m out.

Yet again tonight, this post was brought to you by Big Flats Premium Lager Beer 1901 $3 for a six pack.


Click that little like button if you actually like it. Heyyyooo.

No SHave Never


SO here we are. About an hour from Disney World. It has been an uneventful drive so far, just they way I like it. Baby Gurr, hates sleeeping in the car, so the passenger has to be the snack getter, entertainer and punisher.

The most eexciting thing we have done, has been me driviing while writing this post. it’s been awesome.

I kid! I’m in the passennger seat.


BBaby GUrr cillin in the back.


The Beardess driving.

I wish I had something awesome or funny or crazy to show you, but I don’t. But that shall change at the World of Disney.

Stay tuned.

No SHave Never


We are soon to be making the anticipated journey to the wonderful, magical land of magic, Disney World. We are taking Baby Gurr, though some people have said we should wait, because she won’t enjoy it.

First off, I say boo to you. Second off, I say how the hell do you know what she will and will not enjoy.

20130227-071036.jpg Typical long road trip beard.

Happier times. We will be riding in the automobile for about 8 hours. This is not the first long trip we have taken with the Baby Gurr. Every time we head up to North Carolina, its about 4- 5 hours. So we do not expect any unexpected incidents that we didn’t already anticipate expecting.

Anyone with churrins damn well knows that the expected unexpected can quickly and ruthlessly turn into the “damn, never saw that coming because that shit just doesn’t happen everyday” unexpectedness.

The Beardess an myself are quite excited about the trip. We get to get away from a few days of work. That is about the only relaxing thing that I think we can expect from this trip. I have been to Disney World before. There is nothing not stressful about that place. I was there as a teenager too.

But, stress does not stress me. I control it with urges to rage insanity.

The joy and happiness I expect to see upon my Baby Gurr’s face is all I need to make my weekend. Her smile could wipe the frown off the face of a person who just had a bird fly over and drop a bird turd in their just bought, once sipped, mocha latte, with skim milk of course.

The Beardess has eveything planned out to the most minuscule detail as she usually does. I love it. I don’t have to worry about thinking about when and where I need to be.

Morale is the amount of happy you have in your morals. Good morale and bad morale is contagious, keep good morale so bad morale is not contagious.

Here is a video of military personnel, imitating the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders parody of Call Me Maybe. Its nice to see them take some time to sit back, relax and have a little fun. Enjoy

No SHave Never